During the winter months, when the sun is down before dinner time and the weather is bitterly cold (or constantly raining in the case of my adopted city of Seattle), just stepping outside can seem downright unappealing. But spending more time at home doesn’t have to result in a nasty case of cabin fever. Here are a few tips that I’ve found useful for making the most of the chilly season.

Pick Up a New Hobby

Winter is the perfect time to develop a new hobby or learn a craft that you’ll be able to enjoy for years to come. Host a knitting night with some like minded friends. Or stay home, throw on some music, and discover the meditative qualities of crochet.

Winter’s dark stillness can make these months a great time for reflection and growth. Signing up for a class or workshop in a field that you’re curious about can be a great way to spur creativity. Or take matters into your own hands and check out the art instruction section of your local bookstore. There you’ll find texts in all different styles to guide you through the basics of anything from figure drawing, to watercolor landscapes, or pet portraiture. Then the next time your great aunt’s birthday comes around you can surprise her with a stunning likeness of her Shih Tzu Terrier.

Give Your Home a Comfort Makeover

With a few simple ideas, you can make being stuck at home something you actually look forward to. Start with a room that you regularly hang out in. Rearrange the furniture in a completely new way, taking everything off the wall and try out some new wall hangings, or different arrangements of the old ones.
Fill the air with fresh, inviting scents. Try and steer clear of artificially scented candles and incense, and look into brands that use plant based ingredients. A little cedar and pinon incense can do wonders for opening up a stuffy room and bringing the comforts of the outdoors in. When comfort-izing your place, don’t forget about the bedroom. Pro tip: If there is a single item that will vastly increase the comfort factor of a home, a feather bed just might be it.

Vitamin D

In the Summertime most of us get all the vitamin D that we need just from being exposed to the sun. During the winter months, we tend to not only be outside less often, but also wearing layers of clothes which minimize the amount of contact that the sun makes with our skin. Taking vitamin D3 supplements to make up for less sun exposure can help improve your mood and immune system, so you’ll have a better shot of staying happy and healthy during Winter’s darkest days. Most doctors recommend about 5,000 mg a day of D3, but you’ll want to check with your doctor to see what dose is best for you.

Get a Juice Habit

A friend of mine swears that he feels more energized when he starts his morning with a fresh glass of apple juice than after having a cup of coffee! Fresh fruit and vegetable juice is one of the absolute healthiest things you can put into your body, and its immune boosting properties make it a perfect addition to your winter diet. Experiment with different combinations based on what’s in season. Apple, carrot and ginger is a classic combination made of ingredients that you can find in the produce department year round. Beets are delicious in juice and give any concoction a beautiful bright ruby color. Light, sweet, and great for energy—having a fresh glass of juice is like drinking sunshine.

Get Out!

Of course, even if you’ve managed to transform your home into a castle of comfort and stocked your cupboards with hot chocolate, after months of cold weather you’re still bound to experience some seasonal stir-craziness. Here in Seattle, we’re fortunate to have a few great museums that I never seem to visit as often as I’d like. Spending an afternoon lingering in a good museum can offer the inspiration needed to bust out of the winter doldrums.

If you don’t mind spending an afternoon outside, a brisk winter hike is a great way to release mood-boosting endorphins. Keep up a good pace and once your blood gets pumping you might not even notice the cold.

Sheena is an avid beach bum and cold-weather seamstress. She has lived in the Pacific Northwest for almost a decade and has managed to suppress most fantasies of packing up the car and heading for California during the Seattle’s notoriously dreary winters.

No One Said You Have to Like It

We accept our experience not because we want it, but because it is already here. Shauna Shapiro

Somehow, an idea has come about in the world of self-help that we should enjoy the adversities that life brings our way.

Embrace your fears.

Get out of your comfort zone.

Think outside the box.

Blah, blah, blah.

I’m a little tired of these trite sayings for a couple of reasons.

First, sometimes things just suck.

Losing your house to foreclosure sucks.

Getting a divorce sucks.

Having a chronic illness sucks.

Being laid off from your job sucks.

There’s no getting around it.

Life is really hard sometimes and putting a positive spin on it can lead to my second problem with stale platitudes.

In addition to life sucking for you at the moment, reading bullet points about how to make it all better can actually make you feel worse because you end up shoulding on yourself.

“I should be able to handle this better.”

“I’m engaging my fears and facing them like I’m supposed to. I should feel better.”

“This blog post I’m reading says I should get out of my comfort zone. I’m really uncomfortable. I’m following all the bullet points in this post, I should feel different.”

“I should be better but I’m not. I must be doing something wrong.”

I’m here to tell ya, you’re not doing anything wrong.

You’re just having a moment – perhaps a really long moment – in life that sucks. And when things suck, you feel bad.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

No one said you have to like adversity.

Well, I guess some writers imply that you should, but it’s not true.

See, there’s a difference between accepting something and liking it.

You can certainly accept that you are going through a really crappy time without liking it.

As Shauna Shapiro says, “We accept our experience not because we want it, but because it’s already here.”

The word accept comes from an Old French word, accepter, which meant “to take what is offered.” Later, the word acquired the meaning of “to take or receive willingly.”

Again, I would argue that you can receive something willingly without necessarily liking it or being happy about it.

Case in point:

My late partner, Ruth, had metastatic breast cancer. Early in the process, we were scared and unhappy about the side effects the chemotherapy was causing.

Ruth railed about it to her oncologist, who sat on a little rolling stool looking at her attentively.

Finally, he spoke.

“Ruth, don’t resist.

“Accept the chemotherapy as it comes into your body and allow it to do its healing work.”

Notice that he did not say that she needed to enjoy the process, like the side effects, or be happy about her experience.

He just directed her to accept it without resistance.

And she did. We both did.

Did we like the fact that she had sores inside her mouth, was achingly fatigued, and had ongoing nausea?

No.

We did not like her experience at all, but we accepted it without resistance because it was already there. There was no getting around it; we had to go through it.

So, what did this stance of acceptance what was already there do for us?

It allowed us to compartmentalize the experience. To say to ourselves, “While we don’t like this part of it, we accept the experience as a whole.”

It allowed us to hold two opposites at the same time: We disliked the side effects of the chemotherapy while laughing at them.

At one time, Ruth had to wear adult diapers because of unpredictable episodes of diarrhea. She made a remark once that the diapers looked like those things Sumo wrestlers wear. From then on, they became known as “Sumo pants.”

“I’m out of Sumo pants – can you pick some up for me at the store on your way home?”

“Do you think these Sumo pants make me look fat?”

Did Ruth like her diarrhea? Was she happy about it?

Not exactly.

But she accepted it because it was there even though she felt frustrated at times.

By the time Ruth’s cancer was diagnosed, it had already spread to her liver – the worst thing that can happen.

According to the statistics at the time, she should have lived between nine and eighteen months.

Ruth lived for four years with advanced metastatic cancer and I believe it was because she decided not to resist it or the treatment.

She didn’t like her cancer or the experience, but she accepted it.

Not only did she outlive the statistical expectations, but her life was greatly enriched during her time with cancer because of this very idea of accepting something willingly and without resistance.

She died a very happy, content person without regrets.

What can be better than that?

So I’m not going to end this with bullet points.

Because you don’t need them.

You understand the idea: you don’t have to like adversity in your life. Sometimes things suck.

That’s okay.

Don’t like it and accept it willingly.

Like Ruth, your life will be richer, too.

Psychotherapist Bobbi Emel specializes in helping you face life’s significant challenges and regain your resiliency. Download her free ebook, “Bounce Back! 5 keys to survive and thrive through life’s ups and downs.” You can find her blog at http://www.TheBounceBlog.com and follow her on Facebook (www.facebook.com/bobbiemel) and Twitter (@BobbiEmel.)

It was Nov. 2009.

I was in the first job interview of my life. It was a financial markets related opening. I wasn’t interested in financial markets at all but was quite desperate for getting a (good enough) job out of business school.

As a result, I trembled.

In my mind.

On the surface I was the perfect candidate. I had mugged up the answers to every possible question they could ask, but somehow they managed to see my under-confidence through my well-rehearsed answers (unfair I know).

The result was – yes, you’ve guessed it right – a well-earned rejection.

I didn’t sit for any more interviews that placement season.

If it sounds creepily familiar, join the club. The normal club, that is. Rejection – both romantic and otherwise – is as normal a part of life as sipping your morning coffee. Yet each time it happens, it seems to make you (and I, and everyone else) feel shocked and surprised all over again.

Rejection causes pain and it’s real

What is rejection?

Fundamentally rejection is exclusion – from a group, information, approval, affection or emotional intimacy. If this exclusion is deliberate, our brain interprets it as rejection. Psychologists call this Social Rejection.

Is rejection painful? I know I don’t need to ask you – we all know it does.

Should it feel so lousy? A certain section of self-help experts might use the following myths to demonstrate to you that it shouldn’t.

Myth #1. You can choose happiness as your preferred mental state irrespective of your circumstances.

Myth #2. Having an emotional need for other people’s approval is sick.

Myth #3. Finding happiness alone is a key step to finding happiness in a relationship.

While life would be a lot easier if any of this were true, unfortunately that’s not the case – if scientific research in the field of psychology is anything to go by.

According to Prof. C. Nathan DeWall, PhD, of the University of Kentucky, human beings need emotional connections and a sense of belonging in order to survive, just like they need food and water. (Source: http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/rejection.aspx). Research also shows that the reactions produced in the brain as a result of emotional pain inflicted by rejection is not very different from those produced by physical pain  (Source: Eisenberger, N.I. & Lieberman, M.D. (2004). Why rejection hurts: A common neural alarm system for physical and social pain. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 8, 294-300, http://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/WhyRejectionHurts(TICS).pdf).

How to deal with rejection

Does that mean you can do nothing to deal with your pain of rejection constructively?

Fortunately, it doesn’t. True, your pain of rejection isn’t something you can wish away. However, you can control if you feel rejected, before it can hurt you. Here’s a 6 step strategy I use to do just that. While I had mainly romantic rejections in mind while writing this, you’ll find the strategies are equally applicable to dealing with any kind of rejection.

1. Everyone is not you – No one sees the exact same world that you see. So in most situations, other people can and will react in different ways than you expect. You can’t let this simple expectation vs reality gap hurt you. Acknowledging the differences in people’s viewpoints is the first step to avoiding feeling rejected when you haven’t actually been rejected.
2. Be prepared for various outcomes – I have a rule of thumb for avoiding surprise reactions from people in any situation. The rule is – I force myself to visualize at least two possible outcomes of any situation – one less favourable than the other. I also make sure each possibility is supported by sound reasoning.
3. Reasoning out your outcomes: As an example, let’s say you’re about to ask a girl out.

Tell yourself, “There are two possibilities. First, she might agree to out with me as I’m a good-looking, smart, fun guy (use two to three good reasons). Second, she might reject the offer also. The reasons for this could be – she doesn’t want to go out on dates at the moment, she’s interested in someone else already/has a boyfriend, or she’s looking for different attributes than mine in a potential date/boyfriend.”

1. Be objective: As you realize, we’ve achieved two goals with this reasoning. One, it has forced you to objectively picture both the positive and negative outcomes of the situation. Secondly, it has taken unwarranted emotions out of the negative outcome by logically analysing the possible reasons for it. Going back to the example – here we (you) have identified three possible reasons for a rejection, two of which are unrelated to you. Such analysis would stop you before you can overly personalize any negative outcome.
2. Minimizing unwarranted personalization: As shown in this example, it’s important to understand that any rejection is largely unconnected to whether or not you’re good enough for someone (or something). It only means what you offer and what is required are different. When the lid of one box doesn’t fit another, we don’t say it’s because it’s not “big enough” or “small enough”. It happens because it’s made for a different purpose.
3. Seek connections elsewhere: Unfortunately rejection in relationships is a tad more complex. From your partner not meeting your everyday expectations to infidelity – feelings of rejection can come from various sources. And I know that it’s not always possible for you to be prepared.

If it does hit you, the healthiest way to nurse your hurt feelings is to actively create other connections – rekindling your connection with friends and family, forming new friendships and investing in them emotionally, etc. According Prof. Eisenberger, expert in research on rejection, positive interactions release chemicals which produce pleasurable feelings in the brain.

Next time you feel rejected (life being life, the next times are always around) try these techniques. I promise – you’ll handle rejection with way less emotional travails and possibly even channel it to gain more clarity about life.

————

For the last 5 years Sulagna Dasgupta has been sharing her life lessons with the online community through blogging about relationships and personal development. Her relationships and marriage blog, Love in India is India’s first dedicated blog on the subject – with the mission to facilitate more open thinking about this topic in India in the long run. Everything that she shares here is something that she’s learnt in her own life, through her own relationships. Connect with Sulagna on Facebook to stay in touch.

Latent within everyone who has a sentient conscious mind there is an “invisible” partner who has the answer to literally everything. This invisible partner is also referred to as the subconscious mind and the channel through which it will supply you with the answers and solutions you seek is known as intuition.

Intuitive solutions to problems and the inspiration behind creative, life-changing ideas are derived from the subconscious through a combination of or balance between focus and relaxation. The world’s greatest artists, writers, musicians and so on – in fact anyone who is genuinely successful in what they do – do not come up with their ideas and insights through simply a process of practice and logical deduction, but rather through moments or flashes of inspiration which are accompanied by strong intuitive feelings of “yes, that’s it!” or “yes, this is the answer!” where the person who is able to tap into and listen to their intuition about something is filled with an exciting and emotional sense of rightness, a “Eureka” moment which is in no way delusional or narrow minded but instead brings with it that indefinable feeling of having truly found the right answer or solution.

We all know of or have heard about people who seem to have a predisposition for often being in the right place at the right time in circumstances that benefit them. There may be some element of chance in this, but that’s definitely not the underlying factor which makes it happen for them with any degree of consistency.

What makes it happen is that these people – whether they consciously know it or not – are able to listen in to their intuitive faculty and thereby make the right judgements and decisions about what to do and when and how to do it.

Phrases like “blue sky thinking” or “thinking outside of the box” are linguistic attempts to convey the significance and importance of intuition in decision making and idea seeking. People who often seem to be able to come up with the right moves or ideas have developed – consciously or unconsciously – the ability to “think outside of the box”, in other words to tap into and listen to their intuition about something they’re focused on.

Intuition can supply you with the answer or solution to any important question or problem that you may have, and can show you the easiest and quickest way to get from desire for the achievement of a goal to the actual achievement of it.

How To Find And Use Your Intuition

The first step is to understand and accept that you have within you a wise and powerful partner – your subconscious mind – and that it can show you the way to the fulfillment of your desire and can supply you with the knowledge and information that you need to make it happen. Make a concerted and consistent mental effort to open yourself up to the reality of the power of your subconscious mind so that you go beyond a mere philosophical or intellectual concept of it toward a more emotional understanding and acceptance of it. When you reach this point a sense of excitement and motivation will begin to well up within you as you begin to appreciate the true possibilities and potential of your life, whatever your life may currently seem to be like.

Then formulate clearly in your mind what it is that you’re seeking to achieve, what information or insights it is that you wish your intuition to bring to you. The mental act of beginning to focus on this will cause the subconscious to start working on it, and you can sustain and accelerate this process by affirming to yourself around 20 times, perhaps on a nightly basis as you’re going to sleep, something along the lines of “my subconscious is now showing me…” or “my subconscious is now bringing me…”

Then just relax and allow yourself to accept that the solution will soon emerge, or if it’s bedtime drop off to sleep and let the subconscious work on unhindered.

Practical Steps

You should also supplement this approach by going out of your way to acquire as much information as you can on whatever subject, question or problem it is that you’re seeking an answer or solution to. Absorb as much as you can about it, but without worrying about actually finding your solution just yet. What you’re trying to do here is to mentally absorb a wide range of information so that different aspects of the subject start to play themselves off against each other in interesting and hitherto unthought of ways. On the conscious level you may end up feeling somewhat confused, but on the subconscious level inspired answers and solutions are starting to form and will soon come to the fore.

After you’ve spent some time on this, say over a period of a few days or evenings, simply allow all the information to settle down into your mind. Don’t be anxious or impatient about any lack of immediate answers, just be assured that in its own time your subconscious will come up with what you’re looking for.

This moment often comes when you’re quite relaxed and not actually thinking about your question or problem. Something just suddenly and apparently out of the blue comes to the fore and you realize that you’ve got it, and you know that you’ve got it. Your wise and powerful inner partner has done its work and brought to you what you desired.

Procedure

The best way to approach all this is to a) consistently reach toward an emotional understanding and acceptance of the power of your subconscious mind, b) spend some days or evenings absorbing information about your question or problem and c) on a daily or preferably nightly basis use the previously mentioned affirmation or something similar around 20 times.

Whether you’re for example seeking to find a soul-mate, or are considering the pros and cons of making a career move, or simply trying to find some direction and purpose in life or anything else, you already intuitively know what the answer is, it’s just a matter of drawing it out and putting it into practice.

Kenneth McRae has for some time been an avid student of hypnosis and psychology and to date has written many articles on these subjects. To learn more about building confidence and self esteem, losing weight, quitting smoking, dealing with phobias and much more, visit www.self-hypnosis-the-key.com.

One of the hardest things I try to do is read a good book. After a few pages, I get an idea and put the down to start working.

If there’s something to be done, it burns a hole in my head until I take action.

As a child, sitting around and thinking about things never appealed to me  — it frustrated me beyond belief. In college, I was always the one sleeping twelve hours a night during finals — because I had finished all of my papers and studying days in advance. As an adult, I often receive comments like, “How do you get so much done in one day?”

I used to take that desire for action for granted, not understanding the power it held. Now, I realize just how valuable it can be in creating a fulfilling and wonderful life.

The instinct has been crucial on my quest to an awesome life, guiding me to do what I need to do when I need to do it to achieve a certain goal — with tenacity, purpose, and energy.

Not everyone embraces action so readily, though. When I encounter people who struggle taking action, frustration leaks into my veins. Frustration that their potential isn’t being realized, that their lives aren’t incredibly awesome, that they aren’t as happy as they could be.

If taking action is crucial to success, how can we all become more comfortable enforcing it?

In creating a better, more meaningful life, I find the following tips helpful:

1. Believe you can take action.

That may sound easy, but it’s not. Believe in yourself, and things start changing before your eyes.

Many times, indecision is the fault of insecurity. As Michael de Montaigne once said, “A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears.”

Instead of giving in to fear, I believe I will be successful by:

• Talking with peers I respect to go over my plan and their thoughts on the project
• Plotting out possible paths and steps to carry out my ideas
• Visualizing what steps I will take to achieve my quest

Feeling confident affects my power to make decisions more than anything else. When I feed my belief in myself, things change for the better.

2. Avoid stress by all means.

Having tasks to finish is like walking around pulling a parachute. Why would you do that to yourself?

Struggling to trudge through life pulling the weight of unfinished tasks is no shortcut to happiness. Neither is it necessary. Instead of leaving action for later, taking action in the moment can reduce negative stress by an incredible amount.

• Think about what parts of your life contribute the most stress to your life.
• Jot down the steps you need to take to eliminate those stressful items.
• Visualize yourself taking care of each point, once and for all.

Your stress may not evaporate today, but knowing you will get everything taken care of (and how you will do it) helps lessen the pain today.

A clear to-do list and a clean conscious feels like a deep breath of fresh air. A life full of white space has no place for stress.

3. Reduce the steps necessary.

Have you ever read an email various times and put off replying for another day? Do you know how much time you spent reading and re-reading that email every single time?

I cringe at all the time wasted on putting things off for a later date.

I’m keen on efficiency because I know there are ways to do the boring stuff in less time, so I can do more of the awesome stuff with the rest of my day. By focusing on doing things in the moment, I make sure I get more done with less work.

• By washing the dishes as soon as I finish eating, I avoid having to work harder to scrub them clean tomorrow.
• By putting my things in the right place from the start, I avoid having to move things around again in the future.
• By getting my important tasks done in the morning, I avoid having to revisit them time and time again throughout the day.

By freeing up time on mundane tasks like washing the dishes, I make more time for what matters: writing, working, having fun.

I hope these three steps help you do more with less time and achieve greater success in all you strive for.

If you want to embrace action, what can you do today to get a jumpstart on your quest to an awesome life?

Leave your ideas in the comments. I’d love to hear more about taking action in our lives.

“Either you run the day or the day runs you” Jim Rohn

Have you ever tried a productivity system like creating massive to-do lists, not-to-do lists, GTD, the 4-Hour Workweek …only to find out this doesn’t quite work for you?

Worst of all, do you have a sense of overwhelm and anxiety when you think of your priorities for the day?

Sometimes we’d like the day to have 25 hours.

It’s not MORE hours.
It’ s being MORE disciplined with your time.

To prove the point to myself, I had the idea of putting myself in my favorite athlete’s shoes for a week and see if I’d have a more productive week.

1.   Why Think Like an Athlete?

Who epitomize achievement through discipline?
Who push body and mind, often since childhood, to reach excellence at the highest levels of human performance?
Who make sacrifices beyond imagination?
Athletes do.

I picked Clara Hughes, Olympic medalist speed skater as my model and started building a work routine just like hers:

Get up early, stretch, workout, eat, workout, recover, study, workout, nap, work…
Once I got used to her skates, I started feeling a change in my attitude towards work – I was getting more disciplined and focused.
The IOC (International Olympic Committee’s site) even offered me some helpful tips on time management:

« Time management skills are essential skills for effective elite athletes.
Athletes who master these techniques routinely are the highest achievers, even those under intense pressure, in all walks of life, from sport to business.

Firstly, it is important to identify and concentrate on the things that matter most. This ensures that you achieve the greatest benefit possible with the limited amount of time available to you. »

Here’s how these tips apply to your daily work:
2.   Find your Big Rocks

You probably don’t have time to do everything that’s on your to-do list.
So how do you choose?
There’s a simple rule but you might not like it:
You say NO to all the things that will not have a direct impact on your business.

Clara Hughes acknowledges: “What’s most difficult for me is saying no.  I often feel that I’m letting people down.  I’ve had to learn how to recognize my limits and respect these limits”

3. Keep Track of your time

· For a week, try writing down each activity you work on.
I know it sounds tedious but it’s a fast and easy way to find out whether you’re spending time on your Small Rocks or your Big Rocks.  All you need is a pad of paper to jot down the time you start an activity and the time you finish it.

·  Decide on what you want to do with the small stuff: eliminate, delay, replace.

·  Procrastinating?  In his book, Art of Procrastination, John Perry, a philosopher at Stanford University talks about “structured procrastination”. It makes sense to follow a classic advice: Just get started.  To do so: Chunk down your projects to chewable bites.

·  Tired? Start observing your work patterns.  Are you a morning person? A night owl? Athletes schedule downtime and restorative breaks after each intensive practice.

If you’d like to find out how efficiently you are managing your energy, take this free audit.  Author Tony Schwartz founded Renewal to help businesses like Google and Coca-Coal renew their energy to be more productive.

Working in 90-minute intervals turns out to be a prescription for maximizing productivity.

· If you’re still in a rut why not try an egg timer to pace you and get you started?

Turn the dial and listen to the minutes ticking away as a mantra.
When you do this rotational movement, you send a signal to your brain: JUST DO IT!
You are now designing your very own personal productivity routine that fits your unique needs.  But you still need to tweak it a little more.

4. Set yourself free and automate your process.

Who wants to work like an automat?
We tend to associate automation with boredom and lack of creativity.
But automating your work routine is different.
It allows you to dramatically reduce time spent on making decisions that drain your brain.  Automation takes care of ongoing questions about when to look up your emails, when to answer the phone, how long to surf the Internet.
Those synaptic pathways in your brain are going to get worn in because of repetition.
You create a habit of working on your Big Rocks.
By now, do you need to relax?
5. Relax to be more productive

·      Stop every 60-90 minutes
·      Breathe.

·      Move.
·      Walk your dog.

·      Try Downward  Facing Dog yoga pose for better focus.

That’ll get your creative juices running again.
Even better, this is where cross-pollination miracles happen.
And if you’re taking a break, why not fuel your brain too?

6. Eat and Drink
You don’t need 12,000 calories per day like Michael Phelps but make room for a balanced diet.  Drink – your brain needs it.

It’s so obvious we tend to ignore the advice.
7. Waste Your Time – but Waste it With Pleasure

Hey. We’re humans. Doing nothing is important too.
For ice dancing skater Marie-France Dubreuil, “the biggest obstacle to finding balance is my obsession with my work, I would continue thinking about training at the end of day. I had to learn to stay present in the moment.”

So you’re saying this is too simple?
Well, that’s why it’s so easy to dismiss.

You see you don’t have to be an athlete to apply these principles.
All you need is to approach time with an open-mind and some imagination.
One system does not fit all.
Play around with your new work routine until it’s a second skin.
The ultimate reward is getting the results you’ve been chasing all along.
And keeping your passion alive!
———

Laure Cohen coaches business people on ways to sharpen their business acumen and hone their social skills.  Find out more on how to stand out from the crowd in record time in her blog http://www.SheMeansSuccess.com.  Tweet her @laurecoh.

Wherever I go I meet people telling me that they wish they were in my shoes. For me, my shoes are not as comfy as they think they are, but who am I to tell them that they are gravely wrong.

So I go through life, observe other shoes, and reciprocally wish to be in them rather than in my own. Why? Simply because it is in human nature to envy what you don’t have or what you aren’t.

One day I decided to quit this unhealthy habit of mine.

I started to observe my life, my actions and intentions, and tried to be grateful for what I have.  My perception shift led to some interestingly revealing facts, that otherwise would have escaped my notice. As an English teacher I got the chance to contribute in shaping young minds, as a Business English lecturer I had the opportunity to learn from my adult students as much as I thought, as a university lecturer I experienced how it is to stand on the other side of the desk, as an English teacher for Spanish children I appreciated the wonders of sharing mutual linguistic background, as a writer I met the Holy Lady of Inspiration but I also stumbled upon the infamous Writer’s Block.

I experienced a lot, and people like stories about exploration, exciting places, meeting new people and developing own business. They like to hear heroic tales of people who made a difference or at least made an attempt to do so. If they hear a story of a failure they nod with understanding and resume to their daily habits with a sigh of relief that their life is marked by stability, but when they hear a story of success they look at the sky and tell whatever Heavenly Being they believe in that they do not bear grudge for their own misery but “God, how come that my life is so boring…”

We complain about boring, but the fact is that we like it. Boring is safe, familiar. It does not require from us any unnecessary and possibly dangerous actions to be taken. This is why people often choose to merely observe progress of some endeavour exactly for the sake of safety. They do not have to invest their time, feelings nor effort; they prefer to see the outcome and be able to gossip about it, purposefully avoiding uncomfortable topic of the whole path leading to its achievement.

Making a difference is not as difficult as starting to work hard on making it happen.  Change is not instant, and I am of belief that this fact is the biggest demotivator that keeps people from even trying. Our contemporary times cherish all that is hectic, we live in a cult of instant: Learn Spanish in 3 months, 5 quick tips to make your love life better, boost your income within a week, lose 10 kg in 5 days… we are bombarded with messages that promise us perfect solutions that are almost immediate. Obviously we do not believe all this crap, after all, we are intelligent human beings… But our brain sensors are so used to being drowned in the flood of instant solutions that long-term change is just unacceptable. We are accustomed to quick results; waiting makes people impatient.

And I don’t blame people. I’m as impatient as a person can be. My mother always told me that someday my feverish character will set fire to something. I always saw it pejoratively, I thought she meant to hurt my feelings and accuse me of being irresponsible, but I grew to see it as my chance to develop my own self and people around me in order to infect them with overwhelming love of life, to help them see that improving your life with your own actions is worth your while since it brings many profits. You cannot wait until someday some Gandalf will knock on your door and invite you to an adventure. ‘Somebody is you and someday is now,’ as we learn from a motivational speech of Principal John Tapene whose goal was to energize teenagers to engage in life as vigorously as they can. He also said that ‘the world does not owe [us] a living,’ we have to start being response-able people who can take matters in our own hands and start fighting the best fight ever: own life.

After all, isn’t it how all those great biographies started?

——-

Joanna Niechajowicz is a freelance writer who has recently started a struggle with developing a blog devoted to self-improvement (http://upwardswirl.wordpress.com/). You can also follow her on Twitter.

If you have ever worked really hard toward reaching a goal only to get average results, you know how horrible it feels. And to rub salt in the wound, there are usually a few elite achievers who seemingly work no harder than you who absolutely crush that same goal. It’s frustrating, confusing, and a blow to your ego. I get it.

And you know what? You’re right – those elite achievers probably aren’t working any harder than you. The difference is that elite achievers have figured out the right things to work hard at. Bear with me here.

It’s all too easy to get bogged down in over-planning, procrastination, and self-doubt. These things are time and energy suckers. You can literally waste days, weeks, and months on these types of unproductive behaviors – and not realize it until it’s too late.

While the average spend time and effort on unproductive tasks, elite achievers spend their time on tasks that move them toward their goals.

There’s good news, though. Elite achievers don’t have a secret weapon or some sort of productivity pill. They’ve just developed certain character traits that make it easier to crush their goals.

That means you could be just one or two small adjustments away from joining the ranks of the elite achievers.

Join The Ranks

After decades in sales management, I have observed that all elite achievers share certain character traits. Adopt these ten traits of elite achievers. Put them to work – and watch your goals become much more attainable.

1. Spend Your Time on Implementation

Busy work isn’t always effective work. Don’t confuse the two. Average people spend their time and energy coming up with, rehashing, and discussing ideas. Elite achievers are motivated to spend their time on implementation of ideas. They know that while ideas are the seeds of results, in and of themselves, they are just ideas until they’re acted upon. A brilliant idea unexecuted is worthless. Results come from action.

2. Have Several Back-Up Plans.

Waiting for the perfect plan or tool is insanity. “Perfect” never shows up. Successful people always have a back-up plan…or two…or three. The elite achievers are ready for the unexpected and can roll with the punches when the unexpected occurs.

3. Create Opportunities

As the rest of the world waits, hopes, and wishes for opportunity – elite achievers know that real opportunity is created. Elite achievers reach out to others, spread the word, and step up to the plate. They create opportunity by letting the world know who they are, what they do, and how they can help. And when they create an opportunity, they fully take advantage of it.

4. Dislike, But Tolerate Failure.

While the masses tend to sit back and stew over their plan because there is a chance they could fail and look stupid, elite achievers forge ahead. They know that while failure certainly sucks, it’s not fatal. And each time they fail, they get a little smarter. Elite achievers understand that the small risk of temporarily looking stupid is outweighed by the possibility of real, permanent success.

5. Become “Strong Like Bull”

Elite achievers are tough. We all want people to like us – but guess what? No matter what you do, no matter how wonderful you are – someone is going to dislike you. Elite achievers understand this. Recently I had someone badmouth my writing because I began a post with the word “so.” Guess how much sleep I lost over that one? (none) The elite achievers know they will occasionally fail, that people are going to dislike them sometimes, and that it will hurt a little. By constantly striving for improvement and expecting a little pain along the way, they know that it hurts much less.

6. Find Out For Yourself – Don’t Listen To The Herd

The mediocre crowd has a tendency to believe conventional assumptions about: Themselves, their industry, their product, and their potential. Elite achievers take the time to find out for themselves. They do research, they think outside the box, they consult trusted advisors. Elite achievers couldn’t care less what the nay-sayers think, because they’ve done the legwork.

7. Give Selflessly

This one may come as a surprise, but truly elite achievers are actually pretty selfless people. They leave “greedy” and “selfish” for the bottom feeders. The elite give their time and knowledge generously because it’s the right thing to do…and because it demonstrates integrity, sincerity, and credibility. Winners give.

8. Develop Ego Strength

The elite don’t second guess their decisions. When they have a good plan, they do their research so they can have full confidence in going after their goals full-tilt. They ignore the less evolved who tell them that they can’t do it. Elite achievers ignore negative people and remain confident in their plan.

9. Form A Brain Trust With Other Elite Achievers

Elite achievers know that regardless of how smart and hard-working they are, they can’t possibly catch every little detail. This is why they seek the company of other achievers. They regularly consult their brain trust, ask for their input, and take their advice. They find people whose opinions they can trust and stay in contact regularly to hash through their successes, failures, and obstacles.

10. Keep Going Until You Get There.

The average person throws in the towel when they run into obstacles – and that’s a shame. Elite achievers know that obstacles just indicate a closer proximity to success. If they fail, elite achievers just tweak their plan and go after their goal again and again until they reach it. There is only one direction: Forward.

Spend some time with this list. I’ll bet you can identify one or more areas that might be slowing you down and affecting your productivity. Begin replacing some of those bad, time-wasting habits with their more productive counterparts and start becoming an elite achiever.

What about you?

Which of those time wasters are you most guilty of?

Which of the 10 characteristics of elite achievers are you best at?

Share your thoughts, tips, and stories in the comments!

Gary Korisko (@RebootAuthentic) writes about business strategy, market creation, and integrity selling on his blog Reboot Authentic. His eBook, How To Alienate All The Right People, is a real-world guide to breaking away from the herd and doing something special.

Pigs may not fly, but dogs CAN drive cars. As impossible as it sounds, dogs have been trained to drive cars. You heard right: dogs can steer, shift gears, and use the gas and brakes to drive cars. They may not have gotten the hang of using turn signals yet, but there are plenty of humans who haven’t either.

Now, dogs driving cars is interesting, but how does it affect your life? Well, if I could train my dog to pick up some groceries or drop off my kids at school, it’d sure save time.

But more important, it shows that sometimes, impossible things aren’t so impossible after all.

Maybe all it takes is a vision of what’s possible and the structure to turn that vision into reality.

Plus a lot of dog treats.

So, how do you teach a dog to drive a car?

First, let’s step back, and see exactly how these dogs learned how to drive a car, since that helps us work backwards from the dog-driving-a-car goal to the starting point to see what made the transformation possible.

Interestingly, the 3 dogs who were trained weren’t a special breed of super dog, trained for years. Nope. These were 3 average dogs from an animal shelter, who were trained over 2 months. Just 2 months. I know people who’ve had their driver’s license for 20 years who still can’t drive.

Trainers equipped the cars with special handles on the steering wheel, and dashboard-level brake and gas pedals for the dogs. Then, the trainers gave the dogs plenty of positive reinforcement–and probably lots of kibble–to shape the dogs’ behavior toward the end goal. Trainers broke down the task–driving a car–into lots of small pieces so they could shape the dogs’ existing behaviors–sitting, pawing, etc.–into actions that would allow them to drive a car.

Here’s the blueprint:

• engineer the environment
• plenty of reinforcement
• shape existing behaviors

The huge goal was broken down into a series of small, do-able steps. And in just 2 months, the impossible became reality.

What dogs don’t know

Now, dogs don’t know–or care–whether it’s dangerous for them to drive. They just care about the reinforcement.  (Well, the males probably care about driving around in a cool ride to get more chicks, but that’s beside the point).

For us humans, it’s a lot easier to get caught up in our thoughts, especially when we perceive that something’s dangerous. That’s when we put the brakes on, and stop moving forward.

And that’s exactly the wrong thing to do.

Especially for new things–things that make us anxious–putting on the brakes is precisely the OPPOSITE of what we should do. Instead, we need to move TOWARD what’s making us anxious, taking small steps to confront our fear, and show ourselves that things aren’t really as risky as we think.

An example

Let’s bring this closer to home. Say you have a crappy job you can’t stand, a boss that micro-manages you, and impossible levels of job stress. You’re exhausted with the job treadmill, and want to be self-employed. So, your version of dog-driving-a-car might look something like:

• Replacing your salary with self-employment income, plus having enough to sock some money away into savings.
• Freedom to volunteer in your kids’ school or go to a doctor appointment without feeling stressed about missing work.
• Financial security from being paid by multiple clients instead of a single, shaky job.
• Having consistent and growing income from self-employment.
• Having the same–or better–benefits that used to tie you to your stressful job.

At the moment, that vision might seem impossible. But remember, that’s your “dog-driving-a-car”–the thing that only SEEMS impossible.

Remember, if you follow the blueprint above, you can turn the impossible into reality. One way to engineer your environment is to carve out even just 30 minutes a day to work toward your goal. Next, you could enlist family and friends who can support and reinforce your efforts–or give yourself plenty of kibble as a reward. Finally, you could shape your existing behaviors toward your goal, maybe by identifying the skills, knowledge, and expertise you already have and that someone would be willing to pay for on a freelance or contract basis. Now you’re started down the path toward your “impossible” goal.

With the right kind of mindset and structure, you can do the impossible. And once you see the world in a new way, there’s no turning back.

Question your beliefs about what you can achieve. Find or create a structure to lead you to your vision.

After all, if a dog can drive a car, what can you achieve?
——

Greg Miliates started his consulting business in 2007, QUADRUPLED his former day-job salary, and teaches how to ditch your day job on his blog.

Picture this scenario: You wake up in the morning, brush your teeth and get ready to go to work. You head to your kitchen and brew yourself a cup of coffee.

Before leaving the house, you settle down with that coffee and whip out that iPad of yours. You don’t actually read the news, you just want to surf Facebook.

While scrolling through your newsfeed you come across a video your friend just posted, with the status, “Omg sick! Can’t believe this happened”.

You’re intrigued. You click on it.

And your day is ruined.

Because you just watched a very raw footage of someone getting robbed/someone getting hit by a car/a bunch of people getting into an ugly brawl…

… The list goes on.

Has this ever happened to you before?

The negative state of the world

Subsequently, your mind cannot help but wonder, “What is up with this world?”

“Why is life so unfair?”

“Why do bad things happen to innocent people?”

“Why are there even crimes?”

“Why do people act the way they do? Can’t we all live in peace?”

“What if it happens to me?”

The negativity in this world can be pretty overwhelming at times, depressing even to some.

Sadly, life still carries on as it is. There are 7 billion people in this world and there’s always a clash in among cultures and differences in religions.

We all try to live our life and be happy, but each of us have our own set of challenges and brushes with negativity from time to time.

But don’t let it get to you.

Here are 4  ways to deal with negativity of the world

1) Be strong, don’t get paranoid

In order to not let the bad stuff and negativity get to you, you got to make the conscious choice to be strong and happy.

Don’t be paranoid that, for whatever bad things you heard or read about, it probably will not happen to you too.

Getting paranoid and expecting the worst to happen will simply add unnecessary stress to you and your mental state.

I find that many people think that they “should” expect the worst in life, just so that they can be prepared to deal with it when it actually happens.

Do you see that this ironically makes you somewhat negative already?

Instead, acknowledge that there’re indeed negativity in this world, then move on with your own life, work hard and do what makes you happy.

2) Focus your energy on helping then

Then focus your energy on trying to make this world a better place.

You can help in little or big ways. Every effort counts.

It’s very well known that if you’re feel down or even depressed, all you got to do is help others to instantly feel better.

Don’t think that you’re just “one guy” and that you can’t make a difference.

It’s not like you have to spend all your time doing volunteer work or start a movement, but the idea is to turn into a positive state of always wanting to help, which would definitely occupy your mind enough such that there’s no place for negativity to even come in.

Look at it this way: Sure, there’s negativity and bad stuff going on around in this world, but that’s when the good has a chance to shine.

It’s up to you take a side then.

3) Just block it!

It is known that people have an affinity towards reading bad news. We prefer it in fact. It’s more entertaining than good news.

Studies and research have also been done to  show that we’re psychologically inclined to yearn towards bad news.

Maybe it’s happening to you subconsciously already.

Well subconscious or not, I say it’s completely up to you to make a choice.

Just because you’re drawn to a pretty compelling headline doesn’t mean you have to read it.

Just because all your friends are sharing disturbing videos online doesn’t mean you have to watch it either.

So block it out.

If you know deep down it may potentially make you feel disturbed, just don’t participate. It’s not going to be worth it.

It’s not like you’re going to miss out or be left behind if you decide not to take part in any kind of “trendy” news anyway.

4) Remember that there is good in this world

Negative as this world can be, don’t forget about the other side of the coin.

There is good in the world, something I think a lot of us forget. The good may not be on the front page of our papers, but they exist.

There’re good people who go the extra mile to care for others.

There is natural, undying beauty which mother nature has given us.

There is awesome, man-made wonders like the miracles of science and progression of technology.

They all make us feel good to be alive.

And the great thing is that, a little bit of good makes a whole lot of difference, all the time.

So focus on the good.

Block out the bad, the noise and the negativity.

Even in days you feel overwhelmed, always remember that there is good.

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Your alarm goes off at 6 AM and immediately your to-do list flashes through your mind.  Before brushing your teeth you check your phone for important emails and updates.  While putting on your mascara your mind jumps ahead to your noon appointment.  At breakfast you rehearse what you are going to say, anticipate objections, and the entire meeting runs through your mind, over and over again. “It’s going to be a long day,” you think to yourself and it’s only 7:30 AM.  Sound familiar?

This kind of mental projection is time consuming, unproductive, and exhausting. But you can train yourself and your mind to be present, productive, and supportive with these four easy and effective Applied Meditation techniques.

1. Accept that thinking is inevitable:  Over thinking is not the cause of an unproductive mind, allowing yourself to be either distracted by your thoughts or run by them is the problem.

Fighting with your mind or feeling frustrated over your lack of concentration actually makes thinking worse and it is exhausting.

Accepting that the process of thinking is normal and natural is the first step in retraining your mind and your attention.  Acceptance is the first step in gaining control.

2. Train your mind with gentle repetition:  Lack of focus is a habit.  No matter what your personality type, genetic predisposition, or up-bringing you can re-train your mind with gentle and consistent repetition.

When you notice that your attention has wandered during a client meeting or phone call, take a quiet deep breath, and bring your attention back to your client or call.

This is a very powerful practice and you can do it throughout the day.  The more you notice or watch your mind when it wanders the more present and focused you become.

3. Dealing with Worry: Worry thoughts are deceptively distracting and draining. Worry takes you right out of the present moment and propels you into the future.

The present moment is where all of your power lies.  When you are consistently focused on future events you waste time, energy, and the feeling of powerlessness increases.

Instead, when you find that your attention has wandered towards a worry thought, ask yourself one of two questions: “Is that happening now?”  or “Do I need to think about that now?”

Unless it is something that needs your immediate attention, the answer is usually, “No, that is not happening now” or “No, I do not need to think about that right now.”  Repeat the question until you feel your attention settling back to the present moment.

This practice is also very useful if you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night with “to-do’s” on your mind.

4. Take three deep breaths, three times a day:   Deep conscious breathing takes focus and it is a wonderful way to train your mind to be present. If you need to, set your phone to alert you at 12 noon, 3 PM, and 7 PM to help remind you.

Your mind is your greatest ally. Use these steps to gain control of your attention and create a mental environment is productive, energetic, and successful… and you will be too.

———

Krista Magidson has been teaching people how to enrich their lives with guided meditation, visualization, relaxation, and mindfulness techniques since 2001. She is the author of three guided meditation CD’s including, “Guided Meditation for Relaxation and Inner Peace.”  Presently, she is the meditation instructor at the Redondo Beach Center for Spiritual Living, co-founder of Sanctuary of Peace Ministries, and co-chair for the Peace Makers Gathering and Unity Breakfast. She has been happily married since 1997 and is the mother of two children. To learn more visit: http://www.kristamagidson.com

Latent within everyone who has a sentient conscious mind there is an “invisible” partner who has the answer to literally everything. This invisible partner is also referred to as the subconscious mind and the channel through which it will supply you with the answers and solutions you seek is known as intuition.

Intuitive solutions to problems and the inspiration behind creative, life-changing ideas are derived from the subconscious through a combination of or balance between focus and relaxation. The world’s greatest artists, writers, musicians and so on – in fact anyone who is genuinely successful in what they do – do not come up with their ideas and insights through simply a process of practice and logical deduction, but rather through moments or flashes of inspiration which are accompanied by strong intuitive feelings of “yes, that’s it!” or “yes, this is the answer!” where the person who is able to tap into and listen to their intuition about something is filled with an exciting and emotional sense of rightness, a “Eureka” moment which is in no way delusional or narrow minded but instead brings with it that indefinable feeling of having truly found the right answer or solution.

We all know of or have heard about people who seem to have a predisposition for often being in the right place at the right time in circumstances that benefit them. There may be some element of chance in this, but that’s definitely not the underlying factor which makes it happen for them with any degree of consistency.

What makes it happen is that these people – whether they consciously know it or not – are able to listen in to their intuitive faculty and thereby make the right judgements and decisions about what to do and when and how to do it.

Phrases like “blue sky thinking” or “thinking outside of the box” are linguistic attempts to convey the significance and importance of intuition in decision making and idea seeking. People who often seem to be able to come up with the right moves or ideas have developed – consciously or unconsciously – the ability to “think outside of the box”, in other words to tap into and listen to their intuition about something they’re focused on.

Intuition can supply you with the answer or solution to any important question or problem that you may have, and can show you the easiest and quickest way to get from desire for the achievement of a goal to the actual achievement of it.

How To Find And Use Your Intuition

The first step is to understand and accept that you have within you a wise and powerful partner – your subconscious mind – and that it can show you the way to the fulfillment of your desire and can supply you with the knowledge and information that you need to make it happen. Make a concerted and consistent mental effort to open yourself up to the reality of the power of your subconscious mind so that you go beyond a mere philosophical or intellectual concept of it toward a more emotional understanding and acceptance of it. When you reach this point a sense of excitement and motivation will begin to well up within you as you begin to appreciate the true possibilities and potential of your life, whatever your life may currently seem to be like.

Then formulate clearly in your mind what it is that you’re seeking to achieve, what information or insights it is that you wish your intuition to bring to you. The mental act of beginning to focus on this will cause the subconscious to start working on it, and you can sustain and accelerate this process by affirming to yourself around 20 times, perhaps on a nightly basis as you’re going to sleep, something along the lines of “my subconscious is now showing me…” or “my subconscious is now bringing me…”

Then just relax and allow yourself to accept that the solution will soon emerge, or if it’s bedtime drop off to sleep and let the subconscious work on unhindered.

Practical Steps

You should also supplement this approach by going out of your way to acquire as much information as you can on whatever subject, question or problem it is that you’re seeking an answer or solution to. Absorb as much as you can about it, but without worrying about actually finding your solution just yet. What you’re trying to do here is to mentally absorb a wide range of information so that different aspects of the subject start to play themselves off against each other in interesting and hitherto unthought of ways. On the conscious level you may end up feeling somewhat confused, but on the subconscious level inspired answers and solutions are starting to form and will soon come to the fore.

After you’ve spent some time on this, say over a period of a few days or evenings, simply allow all the information to settle down into your mind. Don’t be anxious or impatient about any lack of immediate answers, just be assured that in its own time your subconscious will come up with what you’re looking for.

This moment often comes when you’re quite relaxed and not actually thinking about your question or problem. Something just suddenly and apparently out of the blue comes to the fore and you realize that you’ve got it, and you know that you’ve got it. Your wise and powerful inner partner has done its work and brought to you what you desired.

Procedure

The best way to approach all this is to a) consistently reach toward an emotional understanding and acceptance of the power of your subconscious mind, b) spend some days or evenings absorbing information about your question or problem and c) on a daily or preferably nightly basis use the previously mentioned affirmation or something similar around 20 times.

Whether you’re for example seeking to find a soul-mate, or are considering the pros and cons of making a career move, or simply trying to find some direction and purpose in life or anything else, you already intuitively know what the answer is, it’s just a matter of drawing it out and putting it into practice.

Kenneth McRae has for some time been an avid student of hypnosis and psychology and to date has written many articles on these subjects. To learn more about building confidence and self esteem, losing weight, quitting smoking, dealing with phobias and much more, visit www.self-hypnosis-the-key.com.

1. My work
2. Relaxation and enjoyment

Why Is Vacation Better Than Regular Life?

1. Total relaxation
2. Decreased responsibility
3. Exploring new places and sights
4. Joy & enjoyment

Can Vacation Last Forever?

Creating a Perpetual Vacation

In my quest to live every single day awesomely, I find the following steps to be the most useful:

1. Grant Yourself Permission: Come to the decision that you deserve to go after your dreams and enjoy yourself, no matter the setting. If you can build a sustainable life (a.k.a. support yourself financially), while not go for an awesome life? You deserve it. To achieve this, ask yourself what your ideal day looks like?
2. Challenge Yourself to Learn Useful Skills: Building a sustainable life and business is a lot easier when your skills are useful to others. By continuing to learn all the time, you can spend your time contributing meaningful work to an audience that needs it. To reach this, ask yourself what you could learn that other people need
3. Let Your Purpose Guide You: The best way to create work that is "meaningful" means doing something that truly means something to you. To reach this, ask yourself what fulfills you?

Start Your Quest to an Awesome Life

What does your ideal day look like?

How do you envision yourself being happy?

What is passion?

Get to it

Focus on YOU

Compound success

Once you've found it, own it

• Sadness
• Anger
• Guilt/self-reproach
• Anxiety
• Loneliness
• Shock
• Yearning

• Disbelief
• Confusion
• Preoccupation or rumination

• Sleep and/or appetite disturbances
• Absentmindedness
• Social withdrawal
• Crying
• Restlessness

Complications of financial grief

• Embarrassment. If you lost your savings due to a Ponzi scheme, listened to a fraudulent financial adviser, or bought into a sketchy mortgage plan for your house, it can be tough to share your story with others.
• Loss of Identity. What’s the first thing you are asked when you meet someone new? “What do you do?” We tend to identify with the work that we do, so if you’ve lost your job, you may be unsure as to who you really are right now.
• Feeling betrayed. If you experienced financial chaos due to poor advice from professionals or family members, found yourself in a Bernie Madoff scheme, or were told by banks that they would provide you with credit and then reneged, you may be feeling very betrayed at this point.
• Discounting the importance of the loss. Many people find themselves saying, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way. It’s not like someone has died.” This is devaluing your own feelings because “it’s not as bad” as something else.
• The idea that economic loss means personal failure. You berate yourself unmercifully for the mistakes you made and decide that it means you’re a jerk and a failure.
• Lack of social ritual for this kind of loss. When a person dies, we have rituals to mark the loss and help us adjust: funerals, memorials, sitting shiva, obituaries, etc. But when we lose something else – especially of a financial nature – there is no way to get closure around it.

Bouncing back from financial grief

• Power to control and influence
• Cultural Norms in the organization.

• Are bold
• Articulate clearly, communicate well and
• Possess a vision.

1. Have his boss visibility endorse both he and his a project and notify all appropriate parties; this leverages his boss’s power and sets the employee up to proceed. Or,
2. Personally promote (by the most appropriately effective means) the business case for the project directly with both the key influencers and those participants involved; this gets buy-in from those who will help and their bosses, when required.

***

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It's an inside job

Activate your goodness

Your part counts

Good as a first priority