I remember my younger days when I considered myself lacking in confidence in almost every area in my life. I doubted myself all the time and always felt I’d amount to nothing.
As such, I pretty much just went with the “flow” in life. I didn’t see the need to push myself or get out of my comfort zone because it felt both difficult and pointless.
The simple result was that I felt unaccomplished and regretful for nothing, as in literally nothing, because I never did what I wanted. Ever felt like that?
The tricky idea of confidence
I think most people think that confidence is pretty much black and white. It’s either you have it, or you don’t.
But I think it’s all about habits. It’s a lifestyle choice where you constantly tweak and “shift” yourself, your life in order to consistently build that confidence.
It never ends. There’s no real one-time answer to gaining confidence. Here’s 11 things extremely confident people do differently. Let it inspire you.
1) They know that fear is a good sign
Confident people don't cower from fear. Instead, they know that fear, with all its feelings of anxiety and discomfort, is a good sign that they're headed in the right direction. Fear isn't such a bad thing to them in life.
2) They get out of their comfort zone
And with that, they go for it and do what they want anyway. They always get out of their comfort zone because they know that their best self lies outside of the zone. In other words, confident people cannot wait to grow!
3) They just get off their asses
Doing work can be a chore sometimes, especially when procrastination is in the mix. So instead of thinking about it, they just get things done anyway.
Confident people feel the confidence from accomplishing something. They aim for that. They strive to get things done so that they can feel good about themselves for the rest of the day.
4) They have fun
Isn't having fun a prime aspect of life since there's really nothing else to do but to be happy? Shouldn't life be treated as an adventure?
Sure, we got work and other commitments, but that doesn't mean we can't have fun, or at least see the fun in it all. Confident know that.
They don't take life so seriously. Enough said.
5) They don’t care about what others think
A classic. The thoughts and words of others are never accurate when they are aimed at you. But if you care about them, you're practically diving in front of the scope.
Confident people know they're all meaningless. They never care for them and aim to build a life they can be proud of instead.
6) They don’t judge
Because judging is a waste of time and energy. They know that creating a bunch of (inaccurate) preconceived notions would just hinder them and bring them down, especially if they've judged somebody to be not good.
Instead, confident people let go of the judgement, open up in life and give everyone an equal chance. That's not to say they're very sociable, at least their head is not filled with crap!
7) They are resourceful and look for solutions
I once told my ex-boss that I had a list of problems about working and that I'd email him. He replied, "Do these problems come with solutions?"
And it hit me. It's easy to focus on a problem and even start whining, hoping that the answer would be handed to us. But confident people step it up by being resourceful first.
They know that they're absolutely capable of finding answers, and they pursue them first more than anything. This not only builds confidence, but also fosters an awesome habit of relying on one's self.
8) They don’t compare
Just like not caring about what others think, confident people never compare their lives with others. Why? Because they know their journey is their own and they have to forge their own path.
They gather inspiration from others, sure, but they don't look up to others to a point that they want to be like others exactly. This would only serve to create unrealistic goals and expectations.
They create their own unique life instead.
9) They don’t want a lot of friends
Confidence comes largely from the people you're with. And so they stick to the few close friends they have, and that's enough.
Effectively, they know that they can't please everybody in life. They're happy with their few friends and that's it.
10) They make up their own rules
They don't do it as if they're some rebel punk who goes around breaking the law. Instead, they know that there's too much information and ideas being spread around in today's society. People and whole institutions are always eager to force feed beliefs.
It can be hard to know what is right, or wrong. Thus, confident people simply listen to themselves. They look into their own life and listen to their experience, because it is always true and never be denied. They go with it and stop confusing their lives with the world. Now, isn't that how you stand out?
11) They try
And above all, confident people try. Confident people know that failure only comes when you stop trying.
It doesn't matter what the result is. Whether you got what you wanted or not, it's always a stepping stone to further success.
This is how confidence is gained. They at least try for a start, so they will never have any regret. And then they keep trying to get what they want.
Just for Pick the Brain readers
If you reach to the end of this article, that’s awesome!
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Bio:
Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. He tells it like it is, to heart of the matter. Check out his free report,12 Things Happy People Don't Give a F**k About!
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