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- You want to start writing, but don’t think you’re good enough
- You want to talk to that girl or guy, but feel you won’t know what to say
- You want more success, but believe achievement is only for others, not you
- If you were confident in your ability to write, you’d probably start
- If you were confident in your social skills, you’d talk to him or her now
- If you were confident in your ability to accomplish goals, you’d begin that new project
Confidence = Courage + (Proper Knowledge + Proper Thinking)Let’s look into each of these in more detail.
Confidence = Knowing You Can Do Something
That’s it; that’s all. And “knowing” you can do something is NOT about visualizing it or willing it to be so. It’s simply about practicing something until you’ve proven to yourself you can do it.- Once you’ve written several blog posts or stories, received feedback, adjusted and improved, THEN you’ll trust your writing ability
- Once you’ve talked to more strangers and experienced most people as receptive, THEN you’ll feel confident in your social skills
- Once you’ve begun to reach for your goals and make progress, THEN you’ll believe in your ability to succeed
+ Courage to Take Action
To earn confidence you must take action, no matter your current level of ability in the area you lack confidence. But taking action in an area where you lack confidence is a Catch 22. You fear doing the thing because you need confidence, yet you have to do it to gain confidence. That’s where courage comes in.- Courage helps you write that first story and submit it, knowing it might be rejected
- Courage helps you approach that cute girl, knowing she may be put off by your nervousness
- Courage helps you tick off steps to your goal, knowing you’ll makes mistakes along the way
+ Proper Knowledge to Save Time
Taking action is essential to building confidence, but having an idea what you’re doing helps too. Think about it:- If you have horrible grammar, it’ll take longer to get your writing accepted
- If you don’t know basic conversation skills, you’ll fumble for words a lot more
- If you’re clueless about setting goals, you’re more likely to set yourself up to fail
+ Proper Thinking to Stay Positive
Sometimes, even when you begin to see success in the area you lack confidence, your mind plays tricks on you.- You write a popular blog post but think, “Ah, I just got lucky.”
- You hit it off with someone new but say to yourself, “That was just a fluke.”
- You complete a small task that’s part of a bigger goal but moan, “I’ll never get there.”
Building Confidence is Not Magic, It’s Simple Addition
So remember, it IS possible to feel more confident in any area of your life. But please don’t think of it as a magic or mysterious process. Think of it as math. You gain confidence in any area by:- ADDING informative experience through being courageous
- ADDING time-saving leverage by gaining more knowledge
- ADDING positive perspective by thinking rationally